It's not a very nice thing to go through. Caring about someone, wanting everything to go alright. These are actions that any of us who stand for something decent would be familiar with.

When caring for those who make you feel the happiest at any given moment, sometimes you think it's safe to let your guard down. I can now say to people that they shouldn't.

I have always shown a generous and loving side towards those who I adore most. It just feels like the right thing to do. It's hard though. Especially when you're being completely downtrodden by those same people.

I tend to have a bad habit of drawing for every girl who walks into my life. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm trying to impress them, or just trying to show that I care enough, and am worth being with, as I could quite easily go out with friends. Instead, I draw for them, spending 4 or 5 hours of my time on each piece.

It's fine for them to take the drawings, but when it comes to me, they just can't be bothered anymore. This will sound weird, but to me, a drawing is a part of you. It shows what you can do, what you enjoy, and how dedicated you really are. It's your passion, and something you know you always have the option to do.

This is why it makes an impact on me heavily everytime. One could say I give my drawings away as appreciation towards them, but the reality of it is, with each girl who cheats on me, lead's me on (or leaves me for another boy for no given reason), it takes something from me.

I'm not talking about trust, as it's obvious that the trust will go straight away. I'm talking about passion for the opposite gender.

I can always give people drawings, and my heart and soul will go into every piece. It's just when the girls take you for granted, sometimes you wish you didn't do this for people, and it would be nice for the girls who have ever done you wrong, to turn up with the pictures you once gave them, and return the favour by giving them back.

If they knew they did wrong, and could stop being superficial for just one minute, this might give me a slight glimmer of hope.

I wish I could get these drawings back, as when people do this to me, it makes me feel even less in the mood for drawing. It hurts really, and feels like a personal insult.

It's so hard to keep your motivation when these girls, who are supposed to be nice, respectful and loving, just take you for all you're worth, and then leave you out in the cold, laying in the gutter to rot.

You could say I'm silly for giving things away that take so much of my time up, when I feel like this.

Maybe you're right, but I don't agree. I do these because I care for those around me, and maybe I shouldn't as much as I do. This could be my downfall.

Girls haven't ever been nice to me, ever in my entire life. Not on a romantic level at least. There is no reason for it, and as such, I don't trust them.

I wish that one day I can meet that special someone, and hopefully then, I'll stop drawing in vain.

I'm not saying all girls are like this, and my friends certainly aren't. Just, I hope that one day I can find someone who is worth finding, and then I might be able to feel as happy as what I believe I could make them.......if they just gave me the chance.

Ah well, maybe I live in fairytale land, and in reality, this isn't how people ever act towards one another.

Heh, anyways, that's my bit of airing done. I refuse to become a negative person, and now my walls of invincibility are going back up.

Take care everyone, and keep doing what you believe in.