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About Me Member Procrastinator Dante36521/Male/United Kingdom Recent Activity Deviant for 5 Years
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Times like these are times best forgotten

Journal Entry: Tue Nov 24, 2009, 8:08 PM


It's not a very nice thing to go through. Caring about someone, wanting everything to go alright. These are actions that any of us who stand for something decent would be familiar with.

When caring for those who make you feel the happiest at any given moment, sometimes you think it's safe to let your guard down. I can now say to people that they shouldn't.

I have always shown a generous and loving side towards those who I adore most. It just feels like the right thing to do. It's hard though. Especially when you're being completely downtrodden by those same people.

I tend to have a bad habit of drawing for every girl who walks into my life. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm trying to impress them, or just trying to show that I care enough, and am worth being with, as I could quite easily go out with friends. Instead, I draw for them, spending 4 or 5 hours of my time on each piece.

It's fine for them to take the drawings, but when it comes to me, they just can't be bothered anymore. This will sound weird, but to me, a drawing is a part of you. It shows what you can do, what you enjoy, and how dedicated you really are. It's your passion, and something you know you always have the option to do.

This is why it makes an impact on me heavily everytime. One could say I give my drawings away as appreciation towards them, but the reality of it is, with each girl who cheats on me, lead's me on (or leaves me for another boy for no given reason), it takes something from me.

I'm not talking about trust, as it's obvious that the trust will go straight away. I'm talking about passion for the opposite gender.

I can always give people drawings, and my heart and soul will go into every piece. It's just when the girls take you for granted, sometimes you wish you didn't do this for people, and it would be nice for the girls who have ever done you wrong, to turn up with the pictures you once gave them, and return the favour by giving them back.

If they knew they did wrong, and could stop being superficial for just one minute, this might give me a slight glimmer of hope.

I wish I could get these drawings back, as when people do this to me, it makes me feel even less in the mood for drawing. It hurts really, and feels like a personal insult.

It's so hard to keep your motivation when these girls, who are supposed to be nice, respectful and loving, just take you for all you're worth, and then leave you out in the cold, laying in the gutter to rot.

You could say I'm silly for giving things away that take so much of my time up, when I feel like this.

Maybe you're right, but I don't agree. I do these because I care for those around me, and maybe I shouldn't as much as I do. This could be my downfall.

Girls haven't ever been nice to me, ever in my entire life. Not on a romantic level at least. There is no reason for it, and as such, I don't trust them.

I wish that one day I can meet that special someone, and hopefully then, I'll stop drawing in vain.

I'm not saying all girls are like this, and my friends certainly aren't. Just, I hope that one day I can find someone who is worth finding, and then I might be able to feel as happy as what I believe I could make them.......if they just gave me the chance.

Ah well, maybe I live in fairytale land, and in reality, this isn't how people ever act towards one another.

Heh, anyways, that's my bit of airing done. I refuse to become a negative person, and now my walls of invincibility are going back up.

Take care everyone, and keep doing what you believe in. :)


  • Mood: Joy
  • Listening to: MGMT - Electric Feel
  • Watching: Supernatural Season 5
  • Playing: Monster Hunter, as my PS3 died
  • Eating: Nothing at the minute
  • Drinking: Nothing, but crave a Toffee Apple Cider

deviantID

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: UK - England
  • Interests: Concept art, games, music, films and girls.
  • Favourite movie: Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and Transformers!
  • Favourite band or musician: Pendulum
  • Favourite genre of music: Indie/Electronica/Punk/Rock
  • Favourite artist: Tetsuya Nomura and Andy Park
  • Wallpaper of choice: Final Fantasy 7: Crisis Core
  • Favourite game: Metal Gear Solid 4 and Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS3
  • Favourite cartoon character: Sam and Max: Freelance Police!
  • Personal Quote: "Hmmmm"
  • Tools of the Trade: Drawing, colouring etc I guess..........need to improve at things from my own head, mind.

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Comments


:iconmegaartest123abc:
whats happening gov?
don't see ya on DA.
you working or playing too many good games on PS3 :D

--
Thou I'm the only one with dyslexia on DA? :P
Visit my gallery now! no porn, sorry :(
[link]

All I want to do here is to show other human beings what a human being can do. :)
:icondante365:
Hey man, yea sorry. Not been doing much. Was learning guitar for a week, and learned these chords:

A,B,C,C-,D,E,E-,F,G and Augmented D......plus started to follow tabs, and could play a bit of the intro to Rush - fly by night....all in one week. :D

Anyways, now I need a guitar, and hopefully haven't forgotten most of that, as my chord changes were apparently pretty fast.

I'll be drawing something for a girl I like, but apart from that, I haven't drawn anything in months. :(

I really wanted to become an awesome artist, but dunno how to blend things together.....sure, I can draw. Maybe I'm just not cut out for it though. :(

You good man? Also, do you have msn? Will add ya if so.
:iconmegaartest123abc:
Its great learning something to play with. :)
I haven't been making my own beats&tracks since last spetmeber. Though I really like to get back in it some time soon. lol
A,C,B...just like playing a keyboard/piano, undertsnad which keynote gives out the sound you want. I get the picture. :D

yea, you shopuld fork out a second-hand guiter, get started with learning the basics then get a guiter thats NEW and briliant.

Well, I'm hoping to make love with someone soon. though I prefer if she was talented heyself. lol that would an abnormal couple and competiton between both opposite sex might happen from with in.
anyways, what you planning to draw for your bird? :) you best check back on the tutorial. i'm sure you would give her a good drawing atleast.

We all have been dreaming from the first moment with started to draw, " i want to become the best".
Deviantart, i'm here to post as much artwork as I can. needing motivation is what i really, really want.

i'm all good for now, but ain't positive about what the future will give me.
I don't use MSN, I WISHED I HAD... TIME. sorry bud. I also haven't been on my PS3 like I have been in past months but not anymore. i'm grown out of it. there alot of PSN ppl asking me where have I BEEN. LOL

but anyways, i'm starting to read this manga on my PSP, its called Death-Note. And thats what I focusing on; anylising other artist drawings and reading.

--
Thou I'm the only one with dyslexia on DA? :P
Visit my gallery now! no porn, sorry :(
[link]

All I want to do here is to show other human beings what a human being can do. :)
:iconmegaartest123abc:
Long time, no see Bitch!

Come, come visit my page.

Fucking has been along time, ai?!
:icondante365:
Sorry man, it sure has lol.

I've not been on here in ages.
:iconmegaartest123abc:
lol so what have you been doing Dante? :D

Do you see the transformation of my profile and latest deviants I've posted since the last time I've spoken to you?

"Change is change" lol

--
Thou I'm the only one with dyslexia on DA? :P
Visit my gallery now! no porn, sorry :(
[link]

All I want to do here is to show other human beings what a human being can do. :)
:icondante365:
It has indeed my good friend. ;)

Gonna take a look now man.
:iconmegaartest123abc:
I can remember you did one of Seifer from FFVIII, (bytheway - i'm stuck on a boss against Rafer & vaen..somthing like that)

It looked like a proper replica off tetsuya's page and i just found out now, you submitted it way back in 2004.

Damn. Submit stuff like that then those you are submitting now, bro. Whats'cooking! LOL Just an advice.
:icondante365:
Ha, maybe, but I want to be original. I don't want to have thousands of page views, just from fanart, unlike my friends who think it's a good thing.

I'd rather be unknown, than copy someone elses work. :(
:iconmegaartest123abc:
Okay, this is about me;
Original? Do I think my work look original? - I don't know :(
whats my style? I don't know but I keep doing different things. Which artests do I admire & find their work inspiring? there's too many that I admire ... blah! I can't stop & stick to one. X(

I understand man. Our life is too short & we don't have much time to do alot of things we would like.
I guess that to be original you have to find a style or a group of bits of style and combine them. First you need to know what stuff you like drawing (most), then use your style that you use, in illustrating them, etc.

One last thing, this is my theory LOL - You gotta be able to design things, design is the key. Designing is unlimited. See the Pro's design & try doing the way you would like it to be done, thats where your style comes in; they use digital painting, I use japanese bamboo paint brush.

Design, design & design.

sORRY FOR KEEPING YOU WAITING. doh!

--
Thou I'm the only one with dyslexia on DA? :P
Visit my gallery now! no porn, sorry :(
[link]

All I want to do here is to show other human beings what a human being can do. :)

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